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Welcome to Nollywood Times

September 30, 2019

Welcome to Nollywood Times

Jaruma surprises Mr Jollof with ₦1million for speaking against Tunde Ednut on hatred towards Tacha

Posted: 30 Sep 2019 12:30 AM PDT


Earlier today, Mr Jollof threatened to beat up Tunde Ednut for hating on disqualified housemate, Tacha.

Mr Jollof called out Instagram star Tunde Ednut for hating on Tacha, claiming he is a bitter soul and would beat him up whenever he meets him.

Taking to his Instagram story, Jollof wrote; "Tunde Ednut is just a biter soul, how on earth will you hate Tacha that is trying to grow? I understand his bitterness because he is always a failure in everything he lay his hands on."

"As a comedian he failed, as a musician he failed woefully that's why he is hiding under his keypad to shade everybody. Very soon he will fail as a blogger"

"I pray he doesn't try me because I will beat him up anytime we see I no dey make mouth. Naturally God bless me with power and if I see who I go beat I know, tunde ednut is one of those that I can beat without thinking twice."

Reacting to the new development, Tacha's 'god mother', Jaruma applauded Mr Jollof as she vows to gift him the sum of ₦1 million.

"God bless you @mr.jollof_ please send ur account details for N1,000,000 million naira @mr.jollof_", she wrote.

Mr Jollof in shock as he confirms receipt of ₦1 million from Jaruma

Posted: 30 Sep 2019 12:00 AM PDT


Media personality Mr Jollof took to social media to confirm the receipt of ₦1 million sent by Jaruma for speaking against Tunde Ednut's "hatred" towards Tacha.

While sharing the screenshot of the alert he received on his IG page, he wrote;

Ex-BBNaija Jeff Nweke spotted while cleaning Benue bridge

Posted: 29 Sep 2019 11:30 PM PDT


Evicted Big Brother housemate, Jeff Nweke has displayed his passion for humanitarian work, as he was recently seen cleaning up the Benue bridge, along with his friends.

Sharing photos from the clean up via his Instagram page, Jeff revealed that he teamed up with Benue Hotels and Resort to do the clean up which took place on Saturday, 28th, September.

His action has earned him praises, words of encouragement and applauds from his fans and Nigerians on social media.

Recall that, before he was evicted, Jeff Nweke was the first housemate to be the Head of House, after being nominated by fellow housemates.
See more photos from the cleanup below:

#BBNaija2019: Elozonam evicted from the reality TV show

Posted: 29 Sep 2019 11:00 PM PDT


Elozonam has been evicted from the BBNaija 2019 Pepper Dem edition after polling the lowest votes in the 13th week.

Elozonam becomes the 19th housemate to be evicted from the Big Brother Naija 2019 house.

On Sunday, September 29, 2019, Ebuka Obi-Uchendu announced the eviction of Elozonam from the Big Brother House.


Elozonam exit is coming after spending a total of 91 days and nine weeks in the house.

21 youths made it to the Big Brother House to become the housemates of the BBNaija season 4 tagged Pepper Dem.

Three weeks later, 5 other housemates joined the competition. Elozonam, Venita, Joe and Enkay were added to the reality show making the housemates 19 all over again.

BBNaija2019: Cindy evicted from reality show

Posted: 29 Sep 2019 10:30 PM PDT


Big Brother Naija, BBNaija housemate, Cindy has been evicted from the reality show.

She was evicted from the Pepper Dem edition of Big Brother on Friday morning.

Her eviction has left 9 housemates to now battle for the grand prize of N60m.

#BBNaija2019: Ike gets evicted from the reality show

Posted: 29 Sep 2019 10:00 PM PDT


Ike evicted from the BBNaija 2019 Pepper Dem edition after polling the lowest votes in the 13th week.

Ike became the 20th housemate to be evicted from the Big Brother Naija 2019 house.

On Sunday, September 29, 2019, Ebuka Obi-Uchendu announced the eviction of Ike from the Big Brother House.

Ike's exit is coming after spending a total of 91 days and nine weeks in the house.

This is the 12th eviction and the 13th Sunday Live eviction show on the Big Brother Naija Pepper Dem edition which kicked off on June 30, 2019.


21 youths made it to the Big Brother House to become the housemates of the BBNaija season 4 tagged Pepper Dem. Three weeks later, 5 other housemates joined the competition. Elozonam, Venita, Joe and Enkay were added to the reality show making the housemates 19 all over again.

The eviction continues for the next four weeks when the show comes to an end.

Celine Dion Just Wiped Off All Her Makeup In Her New Music Video For Single "Imperfections"

Posted: 29 Sep 2019 07:30 AM PDT


  • Cline Dion just took off all her makeup in a new music video for her single "Imperfections."
  • The 51-year-old pop star become the new face ofo L'Oral Paris in April 2019.
  • Cline also does her own makeup before performances and makes sure to keep her makeup brushes clean.

Cline Dion has never been afraid to push beauty boundaries. Whether she's rocking a no-pants look during Paris Fashion Week, an edgy bowl cut , or a posting a nude Instagram pic , she's not afraid to make a statement. And now, the 51-year-old pop star and Grammy winner is at it again in the new music video for her single, "Imperfections," where she wipes off all her makeup. And her skin looks flawless.

While Celine sings into the camera, "I got my own imperfections" and "I got my own set of scars to hide," she's still serving serious lewks (and looking pretty dang good while doing it)

Just this past April, Celine was named the new face of LOral Paris. "I'm at a stage in my life where Im excited to use my voice to empower others to feel beautiful, confident, and to learn to embrace themselves," she said in statement when her role was announced.

And when it comes to makeup, she's gotten tons of experience over her years of performing. "Ive picked up a lot of tricks, and now I do my own makeup before a performance," she said in an interview with Hello! magazine. (Okay, WOW.) "I just know my own face so well, and I actually really enjoy doing it."

Her approach is ridiculously simple: "The most important thing is to make sure your brushes and sponges are clean you can use soap and water."

Celine stays fresh-faced minus the makeup thanks to keeping a healthy routine and diet, too. She shared with People in April that she does ballet four times a week.

"Dancing has been in my DNA all of my life. Its a dream. And so hard! I do this four times a week," she said of her ballet practice. "People say, Shes a lot thinner but Im working hard. I like to move and [weight loss] comes with it."

And in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter , Celine shared her love of coffee and croissants. "Normal breakfast is a cup of coffee (an espresso), and a croissant," she said. (Brb, gonna grab myself one.)

Watch video below;

Apple's Latest AirPods Headphones Are On Sale For The Lowest They're Ever Been On Amazon

Posted: 29 Sep 2019 07:00 AM PDT


  • Apple AirPods are on sale at their lowest price ever on Amazon right now.
  • Normally $199, the headphones are currently on sale for just $169.
  • AirPods boast five hours of talking time and three hours of listening time, and come with a charging case.

Is it just me or does it feel like everyone has a pair of Apple's AirPods? It doesn't matter if you're crushing it on the treadmill, killing time on your morning commute, or getting work done in your co-working space: There's a good chance you've already seen someone rocking a pair of AirPods today.

If you've always wanted to pick up a pair of AirPods, but haven't taken the plunge, I have some good news: AirPods are currently on sale for the cheapest they've ever been on Amazon. This is not a drill.

It's no secret that Apple's AirPods are one of the most in-demand gadgets aroundand for good reason. The company is bringing the innovation and ease of the MacBook and iPod straight to your earbuds.

Simply pair these earbuds with your smartphone and they automatically turn on and connect to your phone when you take them out of their case. In addition to clear, crisp sound, the AirPods have voice-activated capabilities. Translation: Checking the weather or skipping a song mid-workout is as easy as saying, "Hey Siri."

Your AirPods battery boasts up to five hours of talking time and three hours of listening time; however, you can always pop your buds in the charging case when you need some extra juice while you're running errands or training for the big race.

While these AirPods normally cost $199, you can currently buy them for $169. According to CamelCamelCamel, a website that tracks and analyzes Amazon's price fluctuations, this pair is currently the cheapest it's ever been. If now's not the best time to pick up a new pair of AirPods, when is?

Shop more Amazon sales with Slick Deals.

Japan Airlines Lets You Choose No-Kid Seats

Posted: 29 Sep 2019 06:30 AM PDT


Book a flight on Japan Airlines (JAL), and you dont just get to select whether youll sit in an aisle or at the window; you can also see if theres a child slated to sit next to you, and choose your spot accordingly.

According to the airline, people traveling with kids between 8 days and 2 years old will have a child icon displayed on their seats. The subtext being that if you dont like screaming kids around you, you can get as far away as possible.

Except, apparently, you can't get away from controversy about it on the Internet.

Tweets praising the JAL technology ranged from Ive been saying for ages we need a 21+ or 18+ only flight, to All airlines should do this. I have 2 little monsters and they love screaming for 6 hours nonstop on planes. I always feel bad for person sat beside us [sic].

The pushback

But defensive people and dissed-feeling parents quickly came out of the woodwork, criticizing the initial Tweet by Rahat Ahmed and other seat-selection lovers for all sorts of atrocities, from being insensitive to entitled and worse.


Were all young once! All these people who cant stand sitting next to young kids need to get over themselves- try and be considerate and realise that there are worse things in the world than sitting next to a crying child. Mimi Pollard (@thestrawbster)

Others chimed in with "Oh, the horror...a baby, babying on a public plane." And plenty suggested a more personal solution to blocking out the crying: "Buy some headphones!"

The tool isnt foolproofflights change, seat assignments change, and the BBC reports the airline as saying that the icon may not appear if the arrangements were booked by a third party.

Of course, age doesn't always have a lot to do with how annoying the others around you on a flight are. In the words of one commenter: "Spent 10 hours on a flight with a 1yo yesterday, no crying at all. Have seen far more fully grown adults crying about their seat, refusing to give up a seat that wasn't theirs, generally being a pain than I have had issues with little ones."

J.Lo And Shakira Announced Superbowl Halftime Show

Posted: 29 Sep 2019 06:00 AM PDT


  • J.Lo announced she and Shakira are doing the Superbowl Halftime Show in 2020.
  • She shared the news in an Instagram post with a photo of Shakira's butt.
  • The Hustlers actress and singer also shared a second photo of herself with Shakira.

Jennifer Lopez has big news. It's super news, actually. The Hustlers actress and singer just announced she and fellow pop star Shakira will be doing the Superbowl Halftime Show next year.

I'll let that sink in for a moment. J.Lo will be taking over the biggest stage at Superbowl LIV at the Hard Rock Stadium in Miami, Florida, on Feb. 2, 2020.

She shared the news like only J.Lo canwith a picture of Shakira's butt. The superstar captioned the Instagram Post: "This is happening. 02.02.20." In the photo, Shakira is wearing a gold shimmering top, curve-hugging shiny black pants, and big bling on her arm. If you look closely, the arm band has a Pepsi symbol, and her ring is emblazoned with 2020.

Not only will Shakira be shaking her hips right by J.Lo's side on the day of all days, but she also posted a pic of her Superbowl sista to Instagram. In the picture, J.Lo wears a similar gold and black outfit to Shakira (seriously, they could be sisters!), with her crazy-toned arms on full display.

After her original post, J.Lo gave fans a sneak peek of the next level fierceness they can expect from the sizzling duo: "Going to set the world on @shakira #PepsiHalftime#SuperBowlLIV @pepsi."

Just when you thought J.Lo's career couldn't get anymore amazing, she just keeps climbing. Last week, she broke the internet by closing out the Versace show at Milan Fashion Week wearing the jungle dress . Chances are she'll break the internet again with her and Shakira's performance.

Countdown to Superbowl LIV is officially on. The Superbowl Halftime Show is still months away, but tbh, it's already iconic. February 2 can't come soon enough!

Mike Johnson's Thirst Trap On Insta

Posted: 29 Sep 2019 05:30 AM PDT

  • The Bachelorette star Mike Johnson posted shirtless photo on his Instagram today.
  • Fans are loving it, and Wells Adams has officially deemed it a "thirst trap."
  • Other fans have been tagging Demi Lovato in the comments, begging her to reply on the topless pic.
  • Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise star Mike Johnson just posted a shirtless Instagram, and his followers are already waiting (not so) patiently for Mike's love interest Demi Lovato to respond. 

ICYMI, the reality TV star and pop star have had an online flirtation going on for a while now, which they recently took offline for a date.

View this post on Instagram Never forget how wildly capable you are A post shared by Mike Johnson (@mikejohnson1_) on Sep 26, 2019 at 10:23am PDT

In the picture, Mike shows off his toned torso with a pensive over-the-shoulder look. He captioned the black and white photo, "Never forget how wildly capable you are."

Well, his fans certainly seem to know what Mike's capable of, or at least, what they'd like him to be capable of. As soon as the bod-bearing photo dropped on social media, Mike's followers flooded his comments to tell him exactly what they were thinking.

For starters, Bachelor in Paradise bartender Wells Adams wrote, "Thirst trap." Another commenter wrote, "Yeah youre unforgettable." Still another said, "Capable of throwing me over your shoulder and saving me from a building fire ."

But there's only one person whose comment really matters: Demi's.

Fans couldn't help but call out the "Confident" singer in multiple comments. One person wrote, "date Demi Lovato. I need you to find love." Another person wrote, "I'm just here to see if @ddlovato will comment on this pic." (Honestly, same!)

After all, this wouldn't be the first time Demi and Mike exchanged more than just a "like" on Instagram. When Mike was eliminated from Hannah Brown's season of The Bachelorette, Demi Lovato posted on an Instagram Story, "Mike I accept your rose." And Mike's ex Hannah B. has already gone on the record to say she totally supports (and maybe even set up ) Mike and Demi.

Then, when Demi recently posted an unretouched bikini pic , Mike was right there with a sizzling comment: "Look at me like that again love yaself." Looks like the ball's in Demi's court now.

How Often You Actually Need To Wash Gym Clothes

Posted: 29 Sep 2019 05:00 AM PDT

All right, fess uphow often do you wash your workout gear: After every single sweat session? Every couple trips to the gym? Whenever you start noticing a stench lingering on your favorite high-waisted leggings ?


Theres no hard-and-fast rule everyone should stick to when it comes to washing activewear.

Nobody's here to preach about how you should be sudsing up after anytime you sweat. Truth is, theres no hard-and-fast rule everyone should stick to when it comes to washing activewear. There are, however, some helpful tips and guidelines from cleaning pros that can help your workout clothes last longer than a HIIT class.


How often you wash activewear is totally dependent on the individualthe amount of activity, the amount of sweat you produce, personal preference, says Maggie Oakley, merchandise director at Smartwool , an outdoor activewear brand. (Yeah sorry, sweat monstersyou likely need to spend more $ on detergent than your friend who seems to only glisten at the gym.)

Your laundry routine also depends on where you call home, believe it or not: Live in the desert, and you might get away with hanging up sweaty gear to dry between wears; have a humid house where even line-dried clothes stay a little damp, and youll want to wash after every wear.


But keeping your kit clean is importantand the sweat factor is far from the only reason why.

Its not your sweat that produces odor, its bacteriaand they multiply in moist environments like sweaty clothes, explains Kelly Reynolds, Ph.D., professor of environmental science at the University of Arizona.

We all have some yeast and bacteria on our bodies naturally, and it doesnt cause a problem, she says. But if youre in clingy (read: not-so-breathable) workout clothes and the balance of bacteria gets out of whack, you can get a rashor way worse. How much worse? Think staph infection or MRSA. Okay, your likelihood of picking up either of those is slim, but why risk it when washing up will prevent bacteria buildup in the first place?

To nix as much bacteria as possible, wash your activewear with hot water. And definitely sidestep fabric softenerit releases a lot of oils that clog up clothing fibers, and bacteria cling to the oils like crazy, says Reynolds.

Another secret to banish bad odors from your duds: Mist fabric lightly with vodka in a spray bottle and hang it out to dry. Says Nelson: As the liquor evaporates, the smells do too!

Adding bleach to the washer helps nix nasty bugs (but can harm colors and some synthetic fibers), and pouring a little vinegar into the rinse cycle does the same trick, as it has antibacterial properties and breaks up bacteria-attracting oils in your clothes, says Marilee Nelson, cofounder of natural cleaning products brand Branch Basics.

Heres how often you should be getting all your sweaty gear spic 'n' span.

If your workout didnt leave your shirt totally drenched, you might be able to get away with skipping a wash.

That said, hang it up to dry as soon as you get home, and maybe rinse out any sweat first. UV light is damaging to bacteria, so line drying in the sun in particular will kill the vast majority of bacteria, says Reynolds.

One exception: sports bras, or any top with a built-in bra. The skin under womens breasts is a common place for yeast infections, warns Reynolds, so youll want to wash pieces that cling to this area to make sure youre not spreading harmful bacteria.

When it comes to shorts and leggings, youre better off sudsing them up ASAP.

Youll want to wash anything that comes into contact with the groin more frequently, says Reynoldsespecially if you tend to go commando in said shorts or leggings. Heres why: This area of your body is super-susceptible to irritations and yeast infections. Give a pair of bottoms the chance to accumulate bacteria, then wearing them again means you risk contracting an infection down there.

Dont skip washing your socks, even if you think your feet stayed cool and sweat-free during that morning run.
You might not notice an odor coming up from your kicks, but socks should be washed after every workout since most people rarely wash their sneakers and they could be holding on to harmful bacteria, says Reynolds.

When it comes to your kicks, if yours have a removable liner, put them in a laundry bag and wash weekly, suggests Reynolds. Also, spray your sneakers inside and out with a disinfecting spray (Clorox and Lysol both make them), or dust them with baking soda. Then leave them out in the sun for extra bacteria-killing power between workouts.

You can stretch more wears out between washes if your clothes are made of natural fibers.
Synthetic fibers have been specially constructed to wick away sweat and keep you cool, yes. But when it comes to harboring nasty bacteria, theyre the worst.

Bacteria cling to synthetic fibers more than natural fibers, says Reynolds. On the flip side, natural fabrics like wool and cotton breathe better and dont trap nearly as much bacteriaand because of that, you might get away with wearing them for several gym sessions without cleaning and still sidestep the stink .

Reynoldss advice if youre wearing natural fabrics: Keep track of when you work out and how many sessions you can rack up before those clothes start to smellthen just make sure you soap them up a workout or two sooner next time.

Here's the problem with over-using words of endearment with people you are not dating

Posted: 29 Sep 2019 04:30 AM PDT


How wise is it for partners to use sweet endearing words with other people?

Just the other day I had to get some outsiders opinion on something and for this purpose, a friend links me up with one sweet-sounding babe like that.

So I call this lady and ask her few questions. By the time I was ending the call after eight minutes or thereabouts, I naturally thank her for being helpful.

She responds in her tender, almost-seductive voice. "You're welcome, dearie," she says, and as innocent and harmless as that might sound, it really had me triggered.

As an isolated case, being called 'dearie' just one time by an outsider who has only answered your questions for eight minutes and has never seen your face is not a problem. However, on a grander scale and as related to romantic relationships, misuse of words of endearment is actually something worth talking about.

Think about it; you must know three, four, maybe more people who punctuate almost every sentence with affectionate words such as 'love', 'baby', 'sweetheart', 'lovey,' 'darling' and so on and so annoyingly forth.

It does not matter that these are people they just met and it also doesn't seem to matter that these people actually have partners. Not to sound stuck up or to act as a wet towel, I sincerely think words of endearment should not be thrown around anyhow. Doing this dwindles the importance and value those words are supposed to have.

They become so commonplace that their purport is lost on those to whom they should mean something, those who should feel good hearing them.

Words of endearment are meant to make you feel good. They are affectionate words that convey feelings; and they are supposed to ascribe some sort of special feeling on whoever you say them to.Friends can call each other with some endearing words, parents use words of endearment for their kids and more relevantly, partners use cute, specially-created words for each other.


Generalising these endearing names and titles belittles their special nature, downplays the feelings attached to them and could cause problems in your relationship/marriage.

So you affectionately call your boyfriend 'Hunk' and he likes it. It makes him feel manly and attached to you in some unique, cutesy way.

Now imagine him hearing you call every other guy by that name and with the same amount of honey in your inflected voice as you do so.

The significance of that name as bonding tool in that your relationship becomes reduced, if not completely lost if you keep up the habit.

There might also be questions to answer, depending on how jealous the man is and how much value has been attached to that endearing word.

Similarly, imagine your boyfriend calling many other babes 'Angel', when you thought that was a name you felt he adoringly set apart just for you.

It is also, in a way, a matter of respect for your partner.

You can't be in a relationship and continue giving every Cynthia, Amaka and Damilola you come across endearing names. Same thing applies to ladies, who seem to even be guiltier of this behaviour. You shouldn't be using those special, endearing words with other men.

Kill that habit even if your partner hasn't been complaining.

Misappropriating these terms of endearment will not necessarily cause problems or steer your relationship into ruin; nonetheless, since you now know better, you need to do better.

He makes me feel indebted and then I apologize for trying to break up: This is how manipulative men thrive in relationships

Posted: 29 Sep 2019 04:00 AM PDT


Emotional blackmail, gaslighting, fear and uncertainty... this story of emotional abuse has it all.

When Toni** was going to leave for NYSC in 2017, she did not think she was going to fall in love, get into a relationship and become stuck in the unsavoury situation she now finds herself in.

But, as with almost everything in life, there were curveballs that ensured her service year was not as fun-filled and undramatic as she had thought it would be. Before the end of one year, so many things had changed for her– body, soul and mind-wise.

And of everything that could have gone wrong, everything actually did go wrong.

The beginning
"Please I need your advice," reads the email that piqued my interest and got me curious enough to the point of reaching out to the 26-year old. I got to speak with her to get a little more context to this story and she'd explain how she got into what has now become a loop of confusion and hopeless inconvenience for her.

"I started dating this guy August 2017, when I met him he was the sweetest guy I have ever met, at the beginning of the relationship he was everything I wanted in a guy." She writes in that email and during our phone conversation, she reiterates how smooth and divine and mind-blowing the early days of the relationship had felt, and how amazing it was to have her "fairy tale" materialize. Her dream relationship was literally playing out and she was right in the centre of it all, the protagonist in her own dream story.

"…When the relationship started, It was what I wanted. It was the fairy tale I'd always wanted," were her exact words.

A manipulator's mode of operation

One of the constant, most observable patterns with manipulators is how charming and sweet they are at the beginning.

"[At the early days of the relationship,] the manipulator will bombard you with flattery, love, and charm. They'll make you think that they're the sweetest, kindest, and the most caring person in the world. They would never try to upset you or harm you in any way. They're not going to control you. Only good things will come from the relationship," according to Talko.com.

By Toni's own admission, she felt safe in the cocoon created by her lover in those early days, thinking she had finally met the man of her dreams. And she is not alone in feeling this way with a manipulator.

Patricia**, another lady I spoke to for this piece, felt that same way, too.

Although she never got to date the man in question, she says in hindsight that she recalls this same pattern being in play between them, too.

"He was just a colleague [and all the while, I didn't notice anything because he was just, you know, normal] so I never noticed any of that.

"It was when he became a boss and I started reporting to him that he started misbehaving. Then he asked me out and I said no and this showed me more of that annoying part of him."

Unfortunately, by the time many women realize that the charm, sweetness and 'gentlemanliness' is all a lie, it's usually too late. They're stuck in an abusive relationship and see no way out.

Moni's dream relationship isn't so much of a fairy tale anymore

By the time the relationship reached its two-month anniversary, the wheels intended to drive it to a happy ending began to shake badly. And nothing has halted that decline till date.

"Not up to two months of dating after we had sex (he is my first man), I noticed he was changing. He shouts at me at any slightest provocation and I also got to know he has a very bad temper," Toni writes.

While it's sure that a manipulator's toxicity will eventually begin to show, getting out of the relationship or cutting them off is hardly ever as straightforward as that. This is because manipulators are often schemers, players and masters at mind games. They know just what to say to make you forgive their misdeeds.

"When he started showing his real character he had a way of making up… so that still kept us going in the relationship," Toni adds.

Guilt trips and emotional blackmail

When someone guilt trips you, they make you make you feel guilty, especially in order to get you to do something they want. It is kinda similar to emotional blackmail which, according to Power of Positivity, means "threats and punishments that are meant to control another person's behavior, while not escalating to physical violence."

These two things are perhaps the biggest tools manipulators know how to handle best.

Toni says in her email that: "anytime there is a quarrel between us he has a way of manipulating the issue and end up making me apologize even when I know he [was] wrong.

"I don't even have a say in the relationship anymore. He feels he is the man so he should be in control of everything. I have tried breaking up severally but he keeps manipulating, talking about all what he has done for me and all... which makes me feel indebted sometimes and end up apologizing for breaking up."

"Ever since I said no to him, he easily picks on me and after five days or so, he comes and tries to manipulatively appeal to the Christian in me, saying: 'why are we then Christians? or what would Christ do? and all that… what will the holy spirit say? What will the bible say?'

"Every time he f**ks up with me, he comes with 'please forgive me,' quoting scriptures and all that. Maybe because he feels 'this one na church girl.' Those really stupid things like that.

"Also, I like shoes. I love sneakers and all that. So after messing up, he'd just go get me a pair of sneakers.

Patricia adds that the man's sneaky mode of operation also involves trying to get to her by saying stuff like "you are to me like the sister my mother never gave birth to."

Other ways to spot a manipulative partner

Aside being sneaky players and emotional blackmailers, men who try to manipulate you in relationships will also never admit that that's what they're doing. They get defensive and sometimes they really do believe you're the one treating them unfairly by trying to leave or call them out on their toxic behaviour.

"He's always very defensive. He never accepts that he did wrong by me, and tries to make me feel guilty, always saying I caused it whenever he wrongs me." Toni says of her boyfriend.

They're also good at gaslighting which, in essence, is what happens when someone controls you by manipulating, hiding, and distorting the facts of your situation.

For example, in Toni's case, despite knowing for sure that she's not getting the right kind of energy she craves from her man and her relationship, he still makes her feel like the material things and good things he has done for her means she owe him an unpaid debt. She now believes that she is being ungrateful and fears that leaving him is tantamount to throwing his affection in his face, even though deep down she knows she has to leave and move on.

In her exact words: "I really want to move on because if I end up marrying him I will be miserable for the rest of my life. Because, right now, I have lost my self-esteem. I am not myself anytime I'm around him."

Manipulators also try to distort people's opinion of you. When I asked Dammy, a newly-married friend, about her ex whom she says was so manipulative that she almost ran mad, she tells me that when she eventually got fed up of his lying, emotionally-abusive ways, he went ahead to ruin her reputation with his family, all of whom used to be nice and friendly with her even before she and he started dating.

In Patricia's case, her boss/suitor, seeing that she was getting pretty close to one other male colleague, went and tried to make that other colleague think he was already having sex with her.

"When I found out and raked hard for him, he began crying, shedding tears," she recalls.

Manipulation is a form of abuse

Even though it falls short of physical assault, manipulation is abuse nonetheless and could, many times devolve to physical abuse eventually.

However, whether or not it does, the reaction to abuse – whether emotional or physical is to seek a way out. A partner whose way of relating with you only involves toxic, manipulative ways is not your project to try and work on. Abusive men [or even women], especially the ones who are long and hardened in the practice, are not yours to try and remould. It is better to step out of the situation and let them figure out their sh** by themselves.

They might. They might not. But is it worth it to jeopardise your happiness on the possibility of that change happening? If you ask me, I'll say no.

Ten times out of ten.
_______

** Names changed at the request of respondents who would rather remain anonymous.

Why cut off your single friends just because you’re married?

Posted: 29 Sep 2019 03:30 AM PDT

When it comes to marriage culture, there seems to be a lot of things that require change. Instant change, as a matter of fact.


Acquired habits, such as overspending and making other people do the same in order to impress with one's wedding, have been spoken against repeatedly. Of course, it is one thing to speak against something, whether or not any form of social change is being effected by that condemnation is another thing.

While we wait for more people to come to accept the sensible option of having wedding ceremonies tailored to their financial capabilities, we might as well begin to tackle another marriage-related issue.

Apparently, it is a thing for married women to cut off their single friends once they become married.

Two or more women could be besties for such a long time, sharing secrets, going out together, living their best lives, creating memories and building a memorable friendship out of those moments shared. As soon as one of them gets married, it is not unusual for the married one to cut off her friendship with the single woman.

Nkem Ikeke of Legit NG thinks this often happens due to paranoia that those friend[s] may want to take her man from her, that they are jealous of her or in other cases, because there'll no longer be a common ground for them to operate on. Nkem adds that married women who dump their friends do it because upon marriage, their priorities switch from what their single friends have on the top of their to-do list.

Obviously, these are reasons that are not rooted in any form of sound principle. A little rattling and everything comes tumbling down.

For example, the idea that a married woman would rather make friends with only married women because single friends would contrive to steal her man seems to ignore the reality that men who want to cheat will do so with any woman they set their eyes on; married or not. And if a friend is bent on 'taking' your man from you, her marital status may really not count for much.

The idea that priorities of women change when they get married actually sounds kinda right. If it is considered from the angle of having to worry about kids and becoming more responsible for little ones who depend heavily on them, yes it makes sense.

But the idea is also used sometimes knock down single women, especially those who are 30 and above, who are pursuing their best lives without an obsessive desire to get married. It is not uncommon for our society to view such women as being less 'responsible' than women who have married and 'settled down.'

The problem with this is that it is a harmful generalization that trivializes [and in some cases, completely disregards] the responsible choices that single women make out here day after day. That none of those decisions revolves around men and getting married does not make them less important.

I could go on and on discrediting the reasons often cited in support of this married woman prejudice, but what's more important at this point is to mention that when married women continually ostracize their single friends for no other reason than their marital status, it is another passive form of pressuring people to date and marry.

When single people are cut out of friendships and meant to feel like outsiders in their own inner circle, it is another obvious manifestation of how our society and its agents of socialization condition people to view marriage as an elevated form of existence, one that places you on a different pedestal of respectability, over and above people who may not feel like doing so in the nearest future – or ever at all.

Without digressing too far, I should add that I think there is nothing wrong with people drifting apart over the years due to obvious and genuine differences in schedules, lifestyle and distance. That is an accepted part of life. To also cut off people who have shown shady characters and less-than-acceptable behaviours is nothing to raise eyebrows over.

But to intentionally and maliciously move away from your friends for no other reason than their marital status and a sudden, unfounded suspicion of their intentions towards you, is neither necessary, nor sensible.

Here is what your sitting posture says about you

Posted: 29 Sep 2019 03:00 AM PDT


According to psychologists, the sitting position of a person talks a lot about their intentions and personality.

There is no doubting the fact that different people have different sitting posture.
And in most cases, our style of sitting can vary as per our surroundings and mood.

However, there are specific styles of sitting that are particular to every individual. And this adopted style is not necessarily limited to the nature of our mood.

According to psychologists, the sitting position of a person talks a lot about their intentions and personality.

It reveals our hidden instincts and wishes.

And even if you don't realize it, you are probably getting signals from the body language of those around you.

Experts have even gone further to claim that even if your words are friendly and open, a poor body language can make you seem dishonest or uninterested.

Therefore, it is important to know that posture is part of our body language. And your posture reveals a lot about who you are and what you're thinking.

Unknown to many people, this is one great technique used by interviewers to know about a person's personality.

So if you really want to know how to interpret other people's poses and tweak your own posture for a first-class impression, read on to see what these common sitting positions really mean:

Here are five sitting positions and their meaning

1. Sitting erect

It is said that in eight out of ten cases, people who sit with their legs straight are often neat and intelligent.

They are also quick to detect or respond to slight changes, signals, or influences.

Also, sitting with straight legs is a sign that you'd rather keep your feelings to yourself than get involved in conflict.

Nevertheless, people with this sitting position can be quite tense but they are ever ready to take actions should necessity demands it.

2. Sitting with crossed legs

Psychologists claim that crossing your legs while sitting can be a bold statement that says you're into the person you're cozying up to.

However, it is also believed that People who cross their legs are more artistic in nature. These set of people often have strange and creative ideas that cause others to think in a different way because they are likely to have a powerful imagination.

3. Armrest while sitting

Although there are very few people with this sitting position, it doesn't take away the fact that they can be seen here and there.

People who regularly rely on arm rest while sitting has been identified as the shaky type who needs to find a way to steady themselves.

However, this is not applicable to girl bosses; because they're naturally at ease and in control. They do not need to steady themselves.

4. Clasping hands while sitting

People don't usually clasp their hands while sitting. But when they do, it can be interpreted as a sign of attempting to be extra polite.

However, psychologists claim that it can also be a sign that you are lying and trying very hard to be pleasing.

5. Sitting with legs angled at one side

This sitting position is most common among the female folks. And it is said to be a sign that suggests that these people are believers of time and place.

In other words, they believe that everything has its time and place.

More often, these people set the goals and work very hard to achieve them. It is more like a priority for them to establish their education and career before moving on to anything else.

In addition, appearances are important to these ones and they dress very nice to put up a very good look.

If she's been single for a long time, here's what to know before dating her

Posted: 29 Sep 2019 02:30 AM PDT


Five hitches you might encounter in a relationship with someone who has been single almost to stupor.

Some ladies have become really familiar with the relative peace and quiet that comes with knowing how to be by one's self and enjoying every moment of it.

Better single than sorry is a very valid philosophy and to find women who shun societal and media pressures to wait for the perfect one is in itself a blessing.

Obviously, however, there are always two sides to a coin and being in a relationship with such women could have it's own little quirks.

Here are five of the hitches you might encounter in a relationship with someone who was single for a long time before you came into the picture:

1. Time to adjust

It's only logical to give her time to adjust to being in a relationship and doing all the things people in relationships do.

Being single for a long time does not automatically mean she'll need more time than the average girl to adjust, but it is something to be expected. Consider it an athlete's rustiness after being out of the game for such a long time.

2. Holding back

She's not so used to opening up to people that much anymore. The intimacy of sharing all your fears and worries and lowest moments with your partner will likely be alien to her.

It'll be sensible to not push it. Let her move at her own [reasonable] pace but be sure to be there for her.

3. Mind her space

Even people who have been together for long periods still occasionally need space to be by themselves.

4. Be consistent

While things might appear difficult with her from the onset due to the required lifestyle changes, you can't afford to not be consistent in being a great boyfriend. It'll even make it quicker and easier for her to become accustomed to sharing her moments with you.

5. Independent to a fault

She'll likely be really independent… almost to a fault.

She's spent so long taking care of herself that she'll not see the immediate need for you to do things for her or even get involved in some parts of her life she's enjoyed by herself for such a long time.

The health benefits of walking barefoot are incredible

Posted: 29 Sep 2019 02:00 AM PDT


A study in PubMed revealed that walking barefoot influences physiologic processes as well as inducing relaxation.

- Khalil Gibran

The importance of walking barefoot, sometimes, cannot be overemphasized, because making an effort to spend more time barefoot in nature can provide the human body with some incredible health benefit.

As a matter of fact, studies have shown that walking with your feet, directly touching the soil, allows your body to absorb negative electrons through the Earth, which helps to stabilize daily cortisol rhythm and create a balanced internal bioelectrical environment.

In other words, the negative ions present in the earth can help balance the positive ions in our body (if we allow contact). And when this happens, it improves our health in many ways.

Here are five health benefits of walking barefoot

1. It controls insomnia

A study in PubMed revealed that walking barefoot influences physiologic processes as well as inducing relaxation. It has also been shown that people who had been exposed to grounding have better sleep at night when compared with those who did not walk barefoot regularly.

The reason for this is because walking barefoot helps stabilize circadian rhythms, which is the first step to better sleep; as it is the internal system that's designed to regulate feelings of sleepiness and wakefulness over a 24-hour period.

2. It controls blood pressure

Recent studies have shown that the nerves of the feet are stimulated when we walk barefoot. And this usually leads to the reduction of stress levels. However, since stress is released through earthing, which is also known as walking barefoot, it helps in controlling the blood pressure.

3. It boosts energy level

Every lover nature knows that there is a higher energy in nature. This is why whenever you immerse yourself in the natural world, you pick up on the higher frequencies emitted from nature and therefore increase your own energy levels.

However, with our vitality constantly affected by modern society, it advisable for us to make out time to walk barefoot as often as we can.

4. It helps to reduce chronic pain

Alternative medicine practitioners affirm that the electrons present in the earth help enrich the immune system in our body. And this claim is backed by the findings of a recent study.

In addition to enriching the immune system, earthing increases the oxygen levels of the body and thus, helps reduce chronic or acute pain in our body.

5. It improves overall posture

A recent study has shown that shoes are having a negative effect on our feet. Our foot muscles are weaker than ever because of shoes and soft surfaces that don't cause our feet to be flexible and strong like they once were.

This is one of the reasons bad posture because we become reliant upon other muscles to do the job our feet are responsible for doing.

Our weak feet can lead to a bad posture which can lead to back pain, neck pain, even knee pain which is actually often caused by shoes that misplace your postural alignment.

Note: Walking barefoot, 15 minutes everyday, is enough to provide the body with some of the mentioned health benefits.

Weird new study suggests that lots of sex in a relationship could make partners cheat

Posted: 29 Sep 2019 01:30 AM PDT


Cheating is such a sensitive issue in our relationships and in dating life that it never really stops being talked about.

There's so much of it happening around us and when you wonder why that is so, many reasons come to mind.

Of all the reasons why people cheat, would you expect that having too much sex will be an issue? Neither do we!

But apparently, there may be a link between having enough good sex and actually cheating on one's partner.

Sounds weird, right?

Well, according to Assistant Professor Andrea Meltzer of Florida State University who co-authored the report, "sexual satisfaction was positively associated with infidelity suggesting that people who were more satisfied with their sex were more likely to engage in infidelity,"

However, she was quick to add that the result may be a little more nuanced than the conclusion that enough good sex makes people want to cheat.

Speaking to website, Fatherly, she says "this effect was surprising and so I would hesitate to draw any meaningful conclusions from it until it can be replicated in other samples.

"It is also worth noting that this positive association emerged in a very complex model that controlled for a number of related outcomes."

People cheat when they are confident they won't get caught

While Meltzer seems to still have some reservations over the result of her team's new study, American Neuroscientist, Dr. Nicole Prause seemed quite assertive, telling Fatherly that:

"One of the strongest predictors of infidelity is actually power at work, which many scientists think indicates those who are prone to cheat, will, when they have the ability to conceal it."

5 things guys suppose to always do even when your partner never asks

Posted: 29 Sep 2019 01:00 AM PDT


There are relationship needs that are logically expected of everyone who has a partner. Many of those have already been listed in this article here.

You don't need to be told or reminded to do these things, especially when you intend your relationship to be a partnership in the real sense of it. Sure, being open and letting your partner know what's up is good and makes the whole process simpler but sometimes, women have needs that they may not open up to you about and it really wouldn't hurt to know these things for yourself.

Here are 5 of such needs to never forget:

Get your hands dirty, bruh!
She probably wouldn't ask for it, but she would truly love for you to help her around the house. Help with the chores, ask for what needs to be done, make sure to ask her if she needs help, keep an eye out for work around the house that needs to get done and do it for her.

She might never speak about it, and really, she does not have to. Open your eyes to these needs and get to work.

Gas her up
That's your woman and you should never pass u the opportunity to compliment her. She waits for you to say sweet things to her, but she just never mentions it. Compliment her most lovingly and romantically possible.

PDA
You will likely not hear many  women ask for it from their men, including yours. But the truth is a little PDA really won't hurt and your woman will likely appreciate it.

A little pat when you're out, hold her hands here, kiss her cheek there. Public displays of affection will never go out of fashion. So don't hesitate to give her some of that.

How about some freaky freaky?
You will be surprised at how nasty some women want their men to get with them during sex. Don't assume that your 'prim and proper' wife does not like things a little[or very] feisty in the bedroom. She might in fact like you to, you know, get really nasty and freaky with her, even if it's from time to time.

If you have to ask to be sure, then go ahead and do it. Actually, everything goes in sex until the other person says they're not cool with it.

Regular affirmation
She wants you to say that you love her, at weird, random moments when no one would expect it.

Ruggedman at The Foundation Concert 2019 with Tubaba, Sunny Nneji, 9ice and Faze giving amazing performances

Posted: 29 Sep 2019 12:30 AM PDT


The first blocks of the annual Foundation Concert were laid on a nostalgic night this September after much anticipation.

Foundation concert, put together by Lanre Makun Events started around 9pm and was hosted by MC Abey with comedy delivered by Akpororo.

The hall was brimming with iconic individuals (or their sires), many of whom were living legends of Nigerian Entertainment/ Creative space. The event organizer, Ruggedman stressed that his performance was to celebrate the individual icons who laid the foundations for contemporary Nigerian Music and form a renowned part of Nigerian creative history.


On a night where every moment was a highlight, there were performances/sets  by Sunny Nneji, Tony Tetuila, Art Quake, Safari, Remedies, Eedris, African China, Faze, 9ice, Ruggedman, Tuface, Dj Jimmy Jat, Jazzman Olofin, Marvelous Benji, Konga, Hazardous, Lord of Ajasa, Tribute Dance, African China.


The Foundation concert 2019 was an all round success and guests can't wait for the second edition in 2020.

2nd suspect arrested in connection to Mac Miller's death

Posted: 29 Sep 2019 12:00 AM PDT

A second suspect has been arrested in connection to the mysterious death of rapper, Mac Miller which occurred in 2018.


According to TMZ, the suspect, 36-year-old Ryan Reavis was arrested after the FBI and DEA targeted him over Mac's death. The said suspect's home was searched by the law enforcement agency where items which were suspicious were found.


Reavis was arrested and booked on fraud, drug and gun charges on $50,000 bail.

According to investigators, drugs were found including prescription-only pills and marijuana. TMZ reports that the police say they also confiscated firearms, including a 9mm pistol and two shotguns, a homemade firearm suppressor and an arsenal of ammo.


This latest development comes barely weeks after Cameron James Pettit has been charged in connection to Mac Miller's mysterious death.

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